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I can remember a period drama where a girl or young woman is sent away to somewhere in the country to marry an old man and look after his children. (I can remember one particularly grim scene where he has sex on her rather than with her.) I was sure it was Far From the Madding Crowd but I just saw a film of that and they have nothing in common!
When he dies she refuses to leave the children and return to her family.
It would have been terrestrial TV late 90s or early 2000s.
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